Setting the Stage for Your Dance of Intimacy – Part 2

At the end of Part 1 of this article, I mentioned music … first some dance music. Not everyone likes dancing or is good at it. Some folk feel downright awkward to dance, especially in front of others. I personally love dancing. However, for this exercise the issue is not dancing per se, but moving the body to a rhythm. It does not matter what music or rhythm you move to, slow or fast, the key is having fun and get your energy moving.

Usually in our day-to-day life we forget about our body, except for feeding it, cleaning it or going to the bathroom, and maybe doing some routine exercises. Thus outside those times and when our body aches or is in pain we tend to give little or no attention to it. It’s almost as if we’re disconnected from our body.

The reason I suggested dance music is two-fold: One, to reconnect with our body; and Two to release tensions – both loosening muscles and reducing anxiety – from it through our moving to the rhythm while allowing the inner feelings and emotions to be expressed via movement.

Sometimes, without realising it, we lock up “stress-producing” emotions, such as grief, sorrow, frustration or anger in our bodies. So this, quite literally, helps us to dance them out of our system.

Once we creatively move our body and shake it free from those tensions, limbering up a bit, and becoming aware of our body, and actively feel it, we can then take the next step of connecting with our partner’s body. Moving in unison with others expels isolation that we often place upon ourselves.
Slow down the pace of music and a gently gaze into each other’s eyes ( watch for one of the next articles: “How to Tune into Your Loved One”).

As you are still moving in unison, alternate who leads and who follows the dance, listening intently to your own body and your partner’s. Allow your hands to roam gently over the other person’s body, at this stage still fully clothed and avoid any contact with ‘private’ areas.

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Time to move into the bathroom – your love spa with candles and lovely scents. Make it a delicious ritual of gentleness and kisses, rather than a perfunctory cleaning process.

For some of you lovely couples this is all rather difficult, especially to some of you men to keep the control and not make love right now at this stage! This actually is very important. You’ll find that the end result will be explosively ecstatic, beyond what would happen if you allowed the urge to take over!

I am now talking to the servant leader amongst my readers, and will reveal one little secret … just one for now … little techniques to get all the little nerve cells in her body to want to climb out of her skin with delight, and that is a massage. Not any old massage, though.

Let me give you a bit of background here from what I learnt from my instructor of a massage course I attended.
She was very strong on unconditional regard and respect for the person in front of her.

She would say to us students, “You have a very precious human being lying there in front of you. This human being has fears, anxieties, hurts, damages, maybe low self esteem, maybe was violated. When you lay hands on that precious person, know that you serve that person with unconditional love. Every inch of that body is yearning for love and acceptance; minister that in all humility and servant hood. Treasure that body with all its frailties and shortcomings as if it was the most precious jewel God gave you permission to minister to.”

I never forgot this lady instructor’s admonition, and now I will pass it on to you.

Forget your own urges. You are now the servant leader, the high priest, minister to your lady. Love and cherish that body, whether it is young or old, skinny or fat. Go slow, ‘listen’ with your hands, the Spirit of God will guide you to certain areas, stop and pour love in. Now, having said that, here comes a little twist when giving a massage with your hands.

It is very easy to let a male ego to get in the way and pride yourself as being ‘The Amazing One’ who gets his lady to feel good, and make her moan with enjoyment and all that. You can curb that by humbly being in the receiver mode yourself whilst at the same time being the servant leader ministering to your lady.

How? By learning to really relish the sensation of touching and touch in your own hands and fingers.

It’s like as if you were to very consciously slowly touch and stroke some velvet, fur, silk or other tactile materials. You fo not give pleasure to a piece of silk or velvet, you experience the sumptious delicious touch yourself. In the same way, whilst serving your lady, be very conscious of how good her skin feels, take it slowly and really feel her with total presence. The more you feel her with that level of presence, the more she will enjoy it – and so will you! (You might need to sensitize your hands and fingers to learn what sensuous touch feels like on different fabrics, especially if you are not used to this level of delicate touch).

Now, I suggest you do that massage in three stages: 1st dry, 2nd feather, and 3rd oil and follow the suggestions from a previous article on how to give a Relaxing Intimate Massage

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Live Life with Love and Passion!

Geli

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© Copyright A.R. (Geli) Heimann – Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

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God bless!

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The Journey Of Intimacy – Geli Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Notes or the main website www.JourneyOfIntimacy.com